relationship health Posts

Happy Spring – A time of New Growth

Easter has just passed and in my part of the world it was an amazingly beautiful weekend (see marriages to see some of the beauty of where I was). Spring can really bring alive our hope in life all around us as we notice the signs of renewal and growth everywhere. You can use this time to notice where you need to grow in yourself and your relationship. Places to check for possible growth are;

  1. How are you doing as a partner? It is often the little things that make things go smoother such as everyday kindnesses and courtesy in your relationship. The times that we remember to say thank-you for an everyday task that our partner performs or noticing and helping to smooth the way for our partner as we would others (such as holding the door etc are ways that this kindness and courtesy can help your relationship.
  2. How about acts of supreme love such as when you recognize that your partners negative emotion that is directed at you is not appropriate but you accept and love your partner, choosing not to react to the injustice. I call this a supreme act of love because it is very hard for us to let go of our sense of justice and allow mercy to rule in our relationship.
  3. How about when your partner’s vulnerability is showing? Such as their inability to be able to negotiate. Are you able to curtail your own drive for winning and help your partner to negotiate, to be understood by you and to allow yourself to be influenced by your partner?
  4. How about actually listening to and trying to understand what you partner has repeatedly tried to tell you. And then entertaining the idea of how you might change that which is bothering them.

These are just 4 possible growth areas that might make a difference to you personally as well as your relationship. You may have a few things that you know would make a difference but you have been putting them off. Now is a great time to focus on yourself and where you could make one change now. We are entering our second quarter of 2013 and we are 3 months away from our New Years resolutions. Most of us need reminders as the year passes of what we really wanted from the year and reminders of the effort it will take us to get there along with the rewards that will happen when we actually make the changes necessary. Go forth and be wonderful in this!


Endings…Freeing Yourself Emotionally, Add Health to Your Relationship

As we near the end of the year what have you left undone?

Finishing things leaves you freer emotionally. And who doesn’t need emotional energy to manage our lives these days. Some things can be finished, not just by doing the activity to completion but by re-evaluating whether it needs to be finished. Not finishing is not necessarily failure but smart when you have re-evaluated and need to use your energies for more relevant pursuits now. We not only have activities or goals from ‘to do’ lists but also emotional goals as well. Some emotional loose ends need to be forgiven and let go. Make a list of things you are still hanging on to and spend some time resolving these right now. Provided that you have had some understanding on both sides what the issues have been, decide that you will no longer bring them up in the new year. Forgiveness is a head decision and through decision and practice, you can be free of your old baggage (if this seems like an outrageous idea, you may need some help in counselling to make this happen for yourself). You can bring health to your relationship communication in the new year – just by this one idea that you decide to put into practice. You can start with a new slate and not carry your emotional baggage into the next year. Go forth and be wonderful. Cheering you on!