Healthy Love and Attachment are about ‘With’ and ‘In’

Sometimes when a couple thinks of making change, there is a very real resistance, a fear of what they may need to do ‘for’ their partner differently. Will they be able to do it, have they tried before and failed or will they even want to do it? Sometimes, the conversation in therapy will be around what I might have to do ‘for’ you or conversely what you don’t do ‘for’ me now. More importantly, love is about other prepositions. It is about the sense of ‘with’, it is about an invitation ‘in’. The cry is about living ‘with’ me. It is about that hole in your heart that represents the sense of separateness, the sense of aloneness in the relationship. The heart says, Please be ‘with’ me in this experience of life. Be ‘with’ me in our life vision. It about the longing for an invitation ‘in’ to your life as a partnership. Living moments of ‘in’ communion together, moments of ‘in’ experiences together, moments of ‘in’ memory together. Out of so much ‘in’ and ‘with’, there is a natural ‘for’ that can come about. But loving relationships cannot always be focussing on ‘for’. Healthy love and attachment are about ‘with’ and ‘in’. Go forth and be wonderful in this!

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